Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Wednesday.

Good Morning! I found something out that was a bit comforting--it may sound odd, but to me it is comforting. I found out that my mother had, had 3 miscarriages--she had a miscarriage before each one of my sisters and before me---what is comforting about it, is she was able to have a successful birth after each. My mother having babies amazes me anyway--she was super tiny--she was 4' 11" and about 90 pounds--and I was a 9 pound baby...LOL. My mother is in heaven, and I know she is taking care of my babies. I had a miscarriage before having Tony, but it was by far not as painful as this--I was also just a few weeks not almost 3 months--it was still painful just the same but not as bad as this one--I really did not understand what was going on at that time--I do know now.

I had to stop at the store and get diapers and some Tylenol and I was walking through the store I was thinking --no one knows--no one knows ---I was so sad. I am not giving up though--but I am also not going to drive my hubby crazy either--I am not going to be a chore--I am going to love on my husband because I love him, and if God decides I am ready--then I will be so happy and if I don't have any more, I will be accepting of this and be so happy and grateful for the children I do have, but I won't lie and say that I don't wish I had more--I want more ---but I will be okay.

I have been resting and taking care of my baby--but to be honest, I don't like resting--I don't like just laying there or sitting there---today I am going to do some things that help me keep busy--like I have a few things in the kitchen I want to do--nothing I am doing is strenuous, just busy work to keep my mind busy--also, I enjoy reading your blogs and I have quite a few I need to go visit, some new ones too. Listen, I am sad---but I know what happened happened for a reason and that reason hopefully one day I will know---everything must go on, and I have a beautiful family to take of care--and trust me, my husband takes very good care of me--he would do all the work around here forever if I needed him too---but I enjoy homekeeping so please understand, it is therapeutic for me to do things I enjoy--but trust me, in the back of my head there is something very painful I am dealing with--and I thank you, each and everyone of you for the prayers and hugs and notes--(((Gentle Hugs)))

P.S. I know a lot of you want to know what KF is and who are all my friends from "KF" are It is short for "Kitchen Frugality"---It is a message board on AOL--and it is a wonderful board with wonderful people--::::Waiving::::

15 comments:

Tracy said...

Julieann,
You have such a positive attitude, although you are sad. Good for you. The Lord will give you strength to get through each new day.

I know what you mean by keeping occupied. Your body will tell you when it is time to sit for a spell. Just be sure to listen. Praying for you still...

picketfencemom said...

Still praying for you! You are a blessing to all with your positive attitude in the midst of such a sad situation! Yes, it does hurt...but you are right to place your trust in the Lord right where it belongs!
God is faithful!
I will continue to uplift you and yours!
Hugs,
Amy O.

Tracy said...

Julieann,

I can't think of any place int eh Bible that specifically addresses miscarriage, but here are some verses that may comfort you.

Psalm 39:7
Psalm 40
Psalm 55:22
Psalm 62
Psalm 139 The Lord knitted your baby in your womb. He knew each of its days before the foundation of the world! How wonderful to think! If only for a short time, this baby lived beneath your heart, and will forever be loved by you!
Isaiah 49
Isaiah 51
Jeremiah 29:11-12 I love this one!
Jeremiah 31:25
Lamentations 3
Romans 8:38-39
2 Corinthians 1:3-7
Philippians 4:4


Here is the blog of another godly woman who is going through this very thing right now. It may help to read her thoughts, too.

http://more-love-to-thee.blogspot.com/

Much love to you!
Tracy

Kitty said...

Yes, sometimes keeping busy is the best thing you can do, you will still process your grief... and taking care of our families is the best therapy for heartache I have ever found. (That, and prayer too) I'm glad you found comfort in learning that your mom had gone through the same thing... and yes, I also believe we'll find out the reason for all of life's hurts someday, till then we just lean on God and trust him to help us get through each day!! I will keep on praying for you, Julieann!!!!!!!

Lisa@UnexpectedJourney said...

You have such a positive attitude and sweet spirit. It is a beautiful thing to see, even though I see it through bloggyville. Continue to trust in the Lord and He will sustain you through the dark moments. Take care - I'll keep you in my prayers!

Jodi said...

Hello sweet friend - You sound like you have a very good perspective on things. You are still in my thoughts and prayers.

JR and I would love to have more children as well. We've never done anything to prevent it, but Jon (the youngest) is four now and so far nothing ... we don't know what God's plans are, but we rest in the security that His ways are best and rejoice in the blessings He has given us already.

Take care of yourself.

Catherine said...

I wish I could just hug you right now. Keeping your mind and hands busy is a good thing. I felt the need to do the same when I was going through this. As long as you're not overdoing it you should be fine. God knows best, Julieann. I have lost 2 babies already and know that they are in Heaven with Jesus. We will see them once again.
Take care...
Blessings and Hugs,
Catherine

REAL ME said...

My sweet little friend, I have been on a blogging break for a few days and am just now catching up. I am so sorry for this time in your life but you seem to be doing what is best and you hang in there.

Ronda said...

Hi Julieann,
I know how strange, sad, etc...etc...etc..., this all is for you and kevin right now. Please know that I am still praying for you and your whole family.
all my love & Prayers,
Ronda

CONNIE'S THOUGHTS FROM THE HEART said...

Dear Julieann, I have been praying for you. You don't get over a loss like that with the snap of you fingers. You must grieve. God will take care of you. When it is time to "let go," you will know. Just tell us how you are feeling the blog will make it easier to get over. You will have more babies of that I am sure. love you, connie from texas

Maria said...

I love your spirit and your positive attitude.

I agree with keeping busy and taking care of our families is what we do because we enjoy it.

My prayers are with you. You've been in my thoughts. Hugs sweet friend.
Maria

TJ said...

Awww Sweetie, I'm so sorry to hear this. Take comfort that your little one is with God. Also know that I have a friend that suffered 3 miscarriages before her two healthy children were born and another that suffered 4 or more. It is a terrible loss, especially when so many minimize it. You are in my prayers!

The Cottage Nester said...

Julieann,

You have such a postive attitude and you are such an inspiration to me....YOU REALLY ARE! I just want you to know that I am praying for you and your family and God Bless You and Your Beautiful Family!

Love Mrs. Monise

Jenn said...

((Julianne))
We love you and hope you are enjoying that precious family of yours.

Jenn

Elizabeth said...

Hi Julieann:

I am sorry this is late, but I am just now reading of your lost. I have lost two, myself -- one very close to three months along -- and it is a deep loss. My dear hubby said something that encouraged me, though. He said, "What would heaven be without babies?" I like to think I will see those two little lives one day, and, in the meantime, I am greatly enjoying my husband and the two children I do have. You are so right that it is important to serve the ones you do have with you.