Tuesday, August 05, 2008
I am sitting here and I am going to try and put down in words what has been probably the worst if not most terrifying night of my life. I can't even explain how all your emails and comments comforted me through this time. Most of you did not know that my husband had gone to Georgia with Alexis for a week, so he was not here last night, but he will be here soon---I endured this pain alone. Have you ever heard a man cry--well it has got to be the most gut wrenching sound I have ever heard. Please forgive me I am not making any sense--but I want to get all this down while it is fresh in my memory--while it is a memory I would not like to have happened it is a memory that will never be forgotten by me. I have never in my whole life felt such pain that I felt last night. The bleeding started to get heavier as the day went on--and at about 7:30 p.m., cramping started--and it was progressively getting worse---they were like ten minutes apart and then by 1:00a.m. in the morning they peeked at the most pain I have ever felt--I literally thought at that very moment I may die---I tried to be as quiet as I could not to wake Tony or the baby--but of course I failed, and had to have Tony help me with the baby---the baby just wanted me to hold him and nurse, but the pain made me double over and I did what I could to comfort him but then I would have to go into the bathroom again--I even threw up a few times over the pain--at about 2:30--I called my sister and she came right over and took over the care of my baby---and at about 4:00 the pain had tapered off and I think I gave all I could give and no more--I could not believe all that came out of me--sorry to be so graphic. I am completely numb--it has not yet hit me emotionally yet--I don't think.----I am so very sad, I am heart broken---That is all for now----I just want to thank you all for the support, never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I would have friends all over the world praying for me---thank you!!